I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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