but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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