do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize