had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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