In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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