you're like a bully in the Christmas story
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
