Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize