is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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