i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
