AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
