Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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