My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
