in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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