i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
