I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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