if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
