put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
