i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
