After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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