its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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