You made me cry and you don't even care
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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