is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
