i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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