I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize