i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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