If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
