I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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