wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
