I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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