Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
