Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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