Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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