why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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