That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
