Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
