cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
