I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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