gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
