But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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