There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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