I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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