I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
