Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
