she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
