Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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