he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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