I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
