My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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