I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
