I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
