I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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