what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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