At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
