We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
