Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
