Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
