Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
