In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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