Me too!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
