I only kidnapped one of them. chill
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
