Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
