Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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