She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize