so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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