I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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