you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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